Easier Said Than Done

Days gone by.

Stumbling upon you is the best day of my existence. To have you is beyond compare jiffy in my entire being. You had unshackled me to an overcast world I was in bequeathing afterglow through the fathomless ardour you had bestowed on me. You had put on my nose the path to where ecstasy lies. You had put unto view the grounds to subsist and how to let my hair down. You are the grounds in the wake of my beam, the grounds why I lingers cleaving unto vivacity, the grounds of my seventh heaven. I could not enquire for further because you are the whole thing I desired for. You had formed my verve into a life carrying great weight. You had bear out I am worthy to be love whereas you had let loose of my heart to love yet again. Reminiscent of the paramount piece of me is you.

Days gone by.

Things were not in the vein of way we inured to be. The way you inured to exchange a few words with me, the way you pencil in a beam on my face, the way you make me feel I’m over the moon, the way you held me tight so as to make me feel I’m bubble-like for you are there forever and a day to look after me from any harm I may chance upon. Conversely, it’s different by now in all honesty. I was wear through entirely by these circumstance we are currently in. I was dead on my feet to hold my horses for you to text me, for you to call me, to see me more than ever. I was all-in to have a handle on your hectic plans and schedules whereas I find myself incessantly beseeching for your time. I was dead beat for your ceaseless excuses, letting you off for what you have done and ended up going over from the way you give me the brush-off merely because of your action-packed verve. I’m bushed weeping every so often in the midst of the night of darkness on my own. I’m sapped accepting all of your excuses and contrite when in fact, I know you’ll do it yet again.

Days gone by.

With all those pains you’ve caused me, yet, I have a thing for you even now. However, I can’t put up with you to any longer extent for I can’t bear the pain any longer. I can forgive you, yet I can’t put out of my mind the thoughts of you as well as the pain you had set off in my heart. It needs time to mend my shattered heart so as to put you behind. But, solely thinking about it, my heart seems to burst out from pain. I don’t want to shed any tears yet again. I merely want to put you down to experience yet I know it’s easier said than done.

“I don’t walk out on you. I gave you up.”

Throw In The Towel

Waking up is one of the optimum thing I want to do in my being ever since I fall upon you for I’ll be able to spend a new and a further jiffies together with you. Time lapsed lickety-split. We have been blissfully together virtually for a year. The reciprocated affection we have for each other even build up.

However, the firmament dared us. I was furnished with a great deal of tasks I must do before the cut-off date whereas it used up all my time which should be with the one I love. It goes on as weeks and months lapsed. And I am consciously clued-up that you’re up in your arms by now.

I get the drift that I lack a give or take a few time with you, communicate with you there or thereabouts a moment or two, go out with you for a date hardly ever and couldn’t bear out how by a long way you mean to me for I am awfully under enemy control with stacks of paperwork’s that must be done foremost.

Whist I was not just a stone’s throw away from you and I was not able to save you from any harms, I am familiar with how oodles of qualms and query had set off running into your mind. Reminiscent of I was having an affair with some other lass, I am bore to tears with you and grasp that I don’t have a thing for you to any further extent. Stuffs that is wide off the mark from tip to toe.

By and by, weeks had lapsed and I had pulled off things which must be done. Same day as well as I had made up my mind to drop in on you so as to make it all up to you and get back into shape our topsy-turvy relationship.

I had kept my nose to the grindstone roughly speaking for a month merely to take on board the actuality that I don’t get hold of your heart by far. The affection you have for me seems to be gone astray barely to grasp the veracity that you had walk out on me by now.

I presume this is the closing stages, huh? I had set in train the love that we had with “I fell in love with you.”  Whilst you called a halt to our relationship with “I fell out of love with you.”

You have already given me your marching and the relationship we had though not just the thing had abruptly reached its conclusion, leaving me behind with no choice but to throw in the towel.

I Am Over The Moon

I am enchanted.

I have a preferential treatment over the Boys of the East Standing Tall or by and large acknowledged as B2ST. I have known them in recent times yet they slickly enthralled me with their flair and aptitude along with their breathtaking voices so as to make my body thaw out and have beasts hang loose and gleefully painting the town red in my belly. The ecstasy I feel is too wonderful for words.

I am elated.

I have my pals, buddies, chums, or in words of one syllable, my friends. They had furnished my being with a picturesque hue. A big cheese who could make you fall about laughing, pencil in a beam on your maw, bring to the surface the bona fide you, and could make you feel you are out of the ordinary. Furthermore, they were beyond doubt within spitting distance when you needed someone to get in touch with when you feel like the whole lot leave you in the lurch and at times you’ve austerely make up your mind that no angel had ever smile on you.

I am grateful.

I have the paramount and beyond compare mother of all moms across the globe. She certainly not walks out on us in the vein of what our father did when I was yet to be in this world. Myriad of things she did for us to have a decent and moral living, had kept her head down solely to send us to school, had work up a sweat scarcely to bequeath stuff we could do with and endowed us the love and care of a mom. She is beggaring description ever so. She is the superlative, without equal and unrivalled mother a child could have. I am set apart to have the best mother in the entire world.

I am sanctified.

I have God who had crafted my life into a superb and carrying great weight escapade of my existence. I am zilch without Him. For ever and a day, He leads us and put under our nose the on the button route to walk into. He certainly not turns His back on us for He beyond doubt loves us albeit the misdemeanour we did. He exonerate us on His own accord if we enquire for forgiveness, He ease the angst and woes we feel if we learned to seek for Him, and He bestowed blessings to us notwithstanding the transgression we did. The whole lot He could do solely for us.  We barely need to have faith on Him for nil is out of question with Him.

I am on cloud nine to have them in my existence for they had bequeath bliss into my being whereas I could not enquire for more for they are the whole thing I needed in my life. The rapture I feel is beyond words. I am happy even supposing there are things yet wanting.

“Others rummage around for happiness. But what we should actually do is to make others happy and happiness itself will hunt for you.”

Come Back My Hate Girl

I was in profundity concurrently staring at the chair adjacent to mine, the spot you had forsaken that’s bursting at the seams of melancholy. It’s been roughly a year since you hit the road yet it seems it was spanking new. I can barely deem you had walk out on me as it happens. I can scarcely process it in my mind that you made tracks without even saying goodbye.

“She left by now. She doesn’t want to let you know. She doesn’t want to see you cry.”

Bolt from the blue the second I heard my chum uttered those words, it took me days to process it in my mind. I can hardly accept it as true that you just give me your marching. You’re kind of callous lass, walking out on me without uttering a single word. From that jiffy, my world seems to halt from moving. The whole thing brings to a standstill, in consequence, I can’t hear as if I’m deaf, I can’t see as if I’m blind, I can’t feel no matter which as if I’m frozen, I can’t even focus to anything, from the time you deserted me, leaving behind zilch but a heart seen better days.

Merely thinking about you leaves my face doused with tears and as I move towards to hold you in my arms, you’re austerely getting farther and father. It must be after the event to relapse at this moment. You’re voice solely getting barely audible. I get the picture that you’re not on my doorstep by now. You’re seriously far-off from me devoid of verity that I don’t know where you at by now.

Albeit I shed tears day in, day out thanks to you, and after you had put me behind that even the clock stops ticking, at one point, I wanted to put your name down to your spot here in my heart until you come flooding back to me.

“Please come back my hate girl.”

Best Thing I Never Had

I am I. I liked two different people in my same class. The heartthrob guy that likes me since the class even starts and the transferred guy that been so quiet that didn’t talked to anyone else. Neither of them knew that I like them. It will just be a big trouble for the three of us. And so I keep myself silent.

Days had passed and I started liking the quiet guy even more. He has something in him that I find it interesting and I want to know him even more. I was startled when he looked back at me and I immediately turn my face to the board. He caught me staring at him. Ashamed of myself.

Many chances had given and I was able to talk with him. He was nice but he’s the coldest guy I have ever known. Many opportunities had come and I was able to spend some time with him. But he talked less as to what I’m expecting. I only got some information about him but none of them is personal and important.

Months had passed and I think we are getting along with each other. He was just cold outside but very gentle inside. I think I was the only one whom he gave the chance to see the real him. I was in bliss. My feelings for him even grew stronger.

But this happiness comes to halt in an instance. My long-time suitor come and tried to separate us when things are going well for both of us. I didn’t want the next things that happen. My suitor got enrages and eventually knock off the new guy. The new guy didn’t fight back and I eventually come in between them and stop my suitor from hurting the one I like the most. The new guy tried to get up and left the scene without saying a word.

I followed him and found him in the rooftop of the school. I found him sitting there with his back facing me. I immediately ran towards him and asked if his okay. He was just starring at the sky with expressionless face. I hugged him. But he put my arms away and turned his back on me. I stopped him.

“I like you.”

He turned his face to me with his poker face.

“Save that for another guy. I don’t like you.”

With that, he left me speechless.

I thought we could be a perfect fit for each other. I thought I could be as happy as we were so many times before.

I thought I already had him, but I know I didn’t. He’s the best thing I never had.

When the Rain Stops

The blue becomes murky. The rain comes down in torrents. I can feel the breeze touching a chord in my skin. It’s cold, freezing me deep in the bounds of my body. The whole lot is in the doldrums. And reminiscences of you persist in bringing to the surface what went before that I have previously put behind me. Yet again, I can’t steer clear of the thoughts of you plugging away, messing up with my mind causing me to be like a cat on a hot tin roof.

Be that as it may, it’s closing stages by now. I don’t get hold of your heart to any further extent. I grasp that it’s just my daftness and folly that I was dim-witted for you even now. You’re gone now, far afield from me; you’re not here by my side thanks to my half-baked smugness and self-worth.

I have previously put you out of my mind; however, it’s bucketing at this juncture. And the thoughts of you swing by and tormented me all through the hours of darkness. All the same, I know the downpour will run its term and the thoughts of you peter out at a snail’s pace. Gazing at the rain drops tipping down, it’s quite akin to what I am feeling at this jiffy, going to the wall.

I don’t pine for you. It’s the reminiscences that we have piercing me deep within my shattered heart. In days akin this, I unearthed our crystal-clear memories together putting up with the thoughts that your gone by now. The memories we had together is merely a memory and that what makes me plough through to make ends meet.

I had emptied my mind from the thoughts of you yet again, when it buckets down, I know it will come flooding back once more. All the memories I had keep under wraps persist in rummage of you but downpour will indisputably come to a standstill and the thoughts of you will wane inch by inch.

If truth be told, when on earth I see your happy face, I take a crack at smiling back for I won’t get hold of you anymore and there is no way to come back to you. I was brooding about what to do now that it is over and done with. The lone thing I could do is to regret my inanity. Regret that I don’t have you because I was so stupid.

“This is going to repeat again because it always rains. When the rain stops, I will stop.”

Loving and Letting Go

The sunset, the cold breeze, the scenic view, and with you by my side, it was amazingly beautiful. We were talking about something important but I don’t just understand it well so I turn my attention to the scenery and feel the moment spent with you. It’s the best feeling I could ever have in my entire life.

“I love you.”

I get back to my senses and turned right to you with a smile on my face. Those three words could make me feel I was the luckiest girl on Earth to have an angel sent from above. I really wished I could stop the time from ticking so that I could enjoy this moment longer. Having you is the best part in my entire life. I could not ask for more because to me, you are everything that I need.

“I am happy with you.”

The feeling I felt when you say those words just make me want to leap into happiness and shout to the whole world that I love you and that I was happiest woman alive to have you.  This is the sweetest and the best moment I could ever have in my whole life. Only you could give me this feeling I thought I could never have. You brought happiness in my dimmed life. Life without you is like living without a soul.

“But I need someone else.”

Shocked. Stunned. Surprised. Astonished. Startled. Speechless. Minutes later since I get back to reality, tears started falling down on my cheeks without me realizing it. I just can’t find the right words to say in such situation where the one you loved the most would tell you that he don’t need you anymore and needed someone else that could play the role better than you. It was the most unwanted, painful words I had ever heard in my seventeen years of existence.

He was my first love. He was the first to have my trust that I never give to anyone else. He means the world to me. He means everything to me. I did all the things just to make him happy, but I guess it’s not just enough to make a man satisfied with what he already had. He gave me the feeling I never felt before. I learn to trust, care and love because of him. He was the first man to give importance to me. He was the first man that makes out the real me and the best out of me.

And he was the first man who broke my heart and now, it’s falling into pieces like no one could ever fix it. I thought he was the right one for me but, I guess, I deserve someone better.

I don’t regret the choice I had made when I gave him my ‘yes’.

He was the man I chose to love and the man I chose to let go. 

Eclipse

Silence.

You keep asking me what’s wrong with me. You keep pushing me to tell something I really wanted to hide. You keep on interrogating me what’s going on with me. But all I did was to ignore you with tears continuously falling down on my cheeks.

“It’s not working anymore.”

A very woeful phrase I had ever said to someone who had gave me his world and proved me how much he can do for me for he had loved me more than anyone else. I am the most obdurate girl a guy could ever meet. Without a fair shake reason, I’m mopping up things with you.

A heart that aches so as to kill you, you held me tight and tried hardly to understand my very despicable decision. It’s forsooth. I could see you crying. Your eyes are weary from weeping while your heart is bleeding in pain. I couldn’t do anything to comfort you for I am the reason behind all those pain you’re suffering from.

To utter those words, windup things so as to hurt you painfully, I am beyond the pale as ever. I, myself don’t know why I suddenly making an end to what we have for more than two years. I am befuddled. One thing I know for sure, I love you and it hurts me more to see you suffer in front of my very own eyes and what hurts me most is that the fact that you were ill with my own grounds.

I had hurt you many times before and I wanted to give you space and time to heal those wounds because it hurts me when you were still with me even though I am the root for all those pains. I am giving you point in time for you to find the happiness you deserve. I am giving you time for you to converge yourself to your own priorities in life.

Even though we’ll be living in separate ways, you will still be the guy that I love and will still love every passing day. I am still hoping that we could be as happy as ever when things went well for the paths we had take and established yet again what we had before. I am hoping that destiny would allow us to share happiness that love brings over again in the future time.

Maybe our love is like the sun and the moon. They are not meant for now, but someday they will. 

Clenching My Fists Tight

“I don’t love you anymore. Just go away.”

Go away. Get me out of your system. Put me down to your experience. I’m setting you free for I am not worthy of your love. I told you I don’t have a thing for you to any further extent thinking I wouldn’t be able to lay eyes on you yet again.

Thus, I said my au revoir restraining myself not to shed tears at all. I’m giving you occasion to rummage around to where beatitude nestled. I can’t bear up given that you were ill by my grounds. You are entitled to be in ecstasy then again I can’t even pencil in a smile on your face. I’ll give a free rein to you for your chase to whatnot makes you happy.

I had pulled the wool over your eyes albeit my heart was shattered and falling into pieces taking into account you were walking away from me. The twinge I feel is too awful for words seeing you leaving without looking back at me. I set store on you consequently doing this even supposing I’ll suffer the loss of you which means a great deal in me. The relationship we had reached its conclusion all of a sudden. The way you say you can’t breathe without me so as you could kick the bucket without me, I wonder where it went.

As I have stared at you whilst you’re under your own steam away from me, as I have holding back my tears from falling yet I awaited you’ll look back at me once more however you didn’t. So this is our goodbye after everything else as it happens. In that case, I’ll set in train putting you out of my mind. Telling myself I wouldn’t love a girl in the vein of you that I wouldn’t think of you any longer. Then again, putting you behind is easier said than done.

At this point in time, I was at a standstill and down in the dumps, give leave to enter the verity that I will not be able to meet you yet again. The pain so as to kill me inch by inch, the thoughts of you relentlessly roaming in my mind, the fact that I don’t have you by far, the relationship we had for so long, abruptly come to nothing and end with tears.

All the same, I need to keep my head above water and so I turned my back in a jiffy in full swing repressing the tears waiting in the wings to tumble right down my cheeks.

“Au revoir. I will send you away so hurry up and go to be happy.”

Tears fall down in due course as I bit my lip at these cold icy words. I don’t want to look back. I don’t want to ever look back.

I started to cry.

Clenching my fists tight. 

After All, We're Friends

I was been by your side ever since the world began, yet merely kidding aside. Seriously speaking, I was akin to a sanatorium when on earth you’re hurt albeit it’s not in the flesh but rather, deep within your dilapidated heart owing to the lass you had loved the most, yet doesn’t know how to set store on your magnitude and hurts you forever and a day. I was there to mop up the tears incessantly tumbling right down your cheeks, advising you got to set your heart free from the grounds of your sufferings for I can’t bear seeing you akin to that. It barely hurts me further.

Days come to pass and the camaraderie we had build up even further so as to take upon myself that we’re falling with one another whereas you are the grounds of my gaiety. Reminiscent of there were butterflies gleefully bopping in my belly as well as party animals who painted the town red in my stomach. Without a doubt, I was infatuated with you, if truth be told. I know it’s quite off the beam to be smitten with your own chum yet I can’t steer clear of you, the thoughts of you relentlessly surfacing out in my mind.

By a quirk of fate, I heard you with the love of yours, the girl who does nothing but to hurt you awfully putting heads together on the subject of me. I have no idea why I turn out to be the area of discussion out of the blue when in fact; I have nothing to do with what you have.

“I don’t have a thing on her. I was with her at all times because I needed someone to lean on when on earth you’ve hurt me. She’s kind and I know she knows that too. 

After all, she’s my friend.”

At this jiffy, I couldn't bring to a standstill the tears incessantly falling right down my cheeks for you had said something which means the whole thing to me. The whole lot you had spent with me means zilch to you whilst it was something carrying a great weight to me. I’m dim-witted to fall in love with my chum when in fact; we couldn't go further from there, for I am a friend, a veracity so as to make my heart the worse for wear.

He’s dumb and I’m dense to fall for him. I thought that someday he could see my worth, that for all these years, I was been there when he needed someone to lean on, to talk to whereas he’ll be smitten with me and we could have a happily ever after story. Why am I being so presumptuous anyways?

After all, he’s my friend. 

A Brand New Ending

“I love you. But I have to say goodbye. I’m sorry.”

It’s almost four months since the last time we talked. The 2-year relationship we had come to a halt. I get tired of oft-repeated things occurring between us. It was not that easy for me to say my au revoir. It was not facile to utter those words to someone I had loved the most and brought heaven-scent feeling into my life. You may think that I have obdurate feelings to rend your heart and leave you with my absurd excuse. That with all the challenges we both surmount, I’m enunciating I get tired of all these things happening between us. I’m asinine, I know.

I always think of you.

I thought getting occupied to my studies would prop up to my process of moving on. But I was utterly wrong. Every little thing keeps reminding me of you. Every minute, the memories I had with you keep flashing into my mind. Someone I am with for more than two years, someone I loved more than anyone else, someone that loved me more like of his world, how can I forget someone like you in a breeze?

I am missing you.

Your smile, your laugh, your jokes, your face, your hands, and everything in you, I miss it all. Every moment that we spent together, the blissful feeling I felt when I am with you, the things you did for me to make me happy, your hands that fits with mine, your hugs that gave me warmth, and everything you did for me, I miss it all. The long talks, the heart-to-heart discussion, the funny moments, your made-up stories and everything you had told me, I miss it all.

I regretted what I did.

Things were not the same anymore. I wounded your heart and no one could ever heal it. I felt guilty to what have I done to someone precious as you. You’re aching more than I am hurting. I am heedless in making such reckless decision that leaves me bemoaning.

I wanted you back.

I am trying to fix your broken heart and try to heal it with my own heart. I am asking for another chance to make it up to you. I don’t need anybody else because all I need is you. My heart needs you as I needed you in my entire life. I know it will not be easy to forgive me with the foolish things I did to you. But I’m trying my very best to prove you that I can be as strong as anyone could be.

Let’s make a brand new ending.

Even though we don’t have happy beginning, we can still start a brand new ending. And that is to stay together until the very last seconds of our life.

#5

Regrets

I wanted to see you so bad. But when I had the chance, I let it slip right in my hands. I wish I could bring back the time where I should have not given up that opportunity to meet you in the flesh. That one night I could have heard you sing, I mean rap and I could sing with you, together. I could even exhaust my voice to cheer you up, to give you energy because I know you're tired physically. I could stare at you until the last minute, while my heart is beating so fast and there's this thing in my stomach. Butterflies. Full of butterflies. I'm in bliss because the day has finally come. When you give us the chance to see you, to hear you, to communicate with you, and to enjoy with you. That one day, the night when I JUST gave you up. The opportunity that I JUST missed.

I don't know why it hurts to see your friends having such a best time of their life with them while you were having the worst day of your life at your house, with just your laptop on. I don't want to hear anything that happen that night. I don't want to hear their spazzing from anywhere. I don't want to see how happy they are and their feels about it. But, it isn't right. Just because I'm jealous doesn't mean I have to be angry with them. They have too much feels and can't contain it. I understand. I'm a fangirl, too.

A fangirl who missed her chance to see her second ULTIMATE BIAS. MIN YOONGI/SUGA. I don't know. I just can't still get over this thing. It's just too, regretful.

I hope they'll come back again. And I'll make sure, I'll be there. No matter what it takes. I'm not going to let opportunities let slip in my hands again.

Never Been

I tried to pretend that everything’s been okay. That we are doing good. That we are in good terms. But in reality, it’s never been okay even from the start. It’s been the truth since the day I confessed everything to you. The day, I told you my true feelings. That I liked you. The day you confessed yours, too.

Five months of getting-to-know-each-other stage. I trusted you. And I suppose, you had do the same. Talking with you becomes more comfortable each passing day. And my feelings grow deeper too.

I thought our love for each other is perfect. Because, I’m in bliss when I’m with you. Though we fought and quarrel more often, I started to love you even more.

But, I know, it’s not perfect. And it’s never been okay. This relationship. That ‘ours’. I know for a fact that you can’t accept the whole me. Especially what had made me. My past.

You’re always hunted by my past though I buried it a very long time ago. I moved on. Fully. But you keep digging it again for no apparent reason. It’s like you, shooting me with a gun loaded with unlimited bullets.

"I’m just asking." That’s always your excuse. And that makes it even worse. My heart is seen better days when you’re keep doing it. It’s like you have a stone heart. 

I know. You are perfect. And I am not. We have that BIG, BIGGER and BIGGEST differences. You are the angel. I am the devil. You are the saint, I am the demon. You are the good and I am the worst. We are the exact opposite.

But you know, why I still cling unto you? Because, I’m cleaving unto your words, “I love you. Tanggap kita kahit sino ka pa. Mamahalin kita. Kasama ka pagtanda.” Your promises. Because I thought you really meant all those words you said. You are a good person and I know you always keep your word. And that’s what I’m cleaving unto thus far.

The way you said, “I love you.”

But…

Did you really mean it?

You know that my heart is fallin’ into pieces. I know you’re numb but I always pretend you’re not. Everything about you, our situation, I tried to understand it. Even if it will break my heart. So, I’m hoping you’ll do the same.

I don’t know. But why is it that loving you is hard? * Maybe because a deserving person needs to be earned. * (Pampalubag loob)

#4

Movie Review: The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Out of all the movie choices listed, “The Odd Life of Timothy Green” catches my attention the most. From the word “odd”, I then thought, it would be a peculiar one. So, before I watched this movie, I read its synopsis, hence, raised my curiosity and anticipation more.

Justly, this movie didn't fail my expectations. It was a great and worthy of note kind of story with lovely actors and fine transitions of events. It is suitable for kids, teenagers and of course, adults. I think it is family-oriented and have ample of farce moments that made the movie more amusing to watch. I never get bored watching it even from the start because, the couple, Cindy and Jim sincerely made their actions more in a natural way like it was a true story of theirs. The boy, Timothy, is so adorable that whenever he was being bullied or  intimidated by other kids, I wanted to protect him as mighty as I could like how his parents had done for him. The other actors played their part very well.

The out of the ordinary plot makes this movie exceptional. There’s so much to learn in this movie. Like never giving up even when you give your best shot at something, because, in the right time, something good will happens; one that is more than to what you have expected and eventually become one of your greatest gift. Also, part of being a good parent is making mistakes. And that mistake doesn't mean to paralyze you, but is the reason for doing better and moving on. Being a parent is not as easy as 1, 2, 3, though.

I think this is one of the best movies I've watched thus far and would highly recommend it to others. I love this kind of genres which is Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Comedy and Drama. The farce moments comes in between the serious instances so one could not weep for long. It is very emotional in the beginning and last part that I really burst out into tears. It really appeals to my emotions.

But what I find it funny for my part is that I am not quite sure if they are adopting Timothy or another child when they were storytelling the moments of them with Timothy from the start. And when Timothy is gone, now I’m sure they were adopting another child. I’m a bit happy and sad for the ending. Happy because, they were moving on just as what Timothy had told and wish for them before he left. Sad because, how I wish Timothy would be theirs until the last part. 

6489.7 Miles

How do we love strangers? Can we really love them? Can we really trust a perfect stranger who is thousand miles away from you? Is it possible to call him "The One" when you never even met once?

To tell you honestly, it's possible. For me.

I know this is the craziest and weirdest to say, but ... I've fallen for him for just a week. Too fast. Too insane. Too delusional if one would describe it. But, my heart leads me to him. Unexpected stranger who set foot in my heart, and I'll never let him walk out of it.

This is crazy. I'm crazy.

This is weird. I'm weird.

One would back stab me for being too slutty or flirty since my boyfriend and I just broke up two weeks ago. But my heart just couldn't stop falling for him over and over again.

So, I'll tell you a little background of what happened. I downloaded this messaging app called Kakaotalk and have chatted for some kpoppers. And this one guy who I remained talking to until now. But, on January 13, while I was getting ready for school, my phone beeps "Katalk!" I opened it. Then there he was. I was kind of excited to talk with him since I'm able to find new friends around the globe. I never really expected that it would really come to this. We talked and ask each other questions. And as time goes by, I became comfortable talking to him. We talked as if we were never once strangers to each other. And *pooof*. One day, I woke up. And I'm in-love with him.

Most of you would freak out and say so many adjectives related to "slut" or "flirt". That's fine with me. It doesn't matter.

What do I find in him interesting? Something that would make me fall for him? Nothing. I just love the way he was. I love it when we're talking as if we're just meters away from each other. I just love him. I never even felt this feeling before. I'm not flirting with him. I'm just ... liking and loving him.

Yeah. He's handsome. But, even before he showed me his photo, I started liking him the first day. He was tall. He's too sweet. He's too adorable. I like him. And it's mutual.

This would be the craziest, insanest and weirdest thing to say other than when I love him, but ... I was planning to go in his place. Netherlands. It's a very beautiful place where one can live very peacefully. (I know. I searched it on the net.) I even tried to learn his language which is Dutch. Yeah. He's a Dutch. I'm a Filipino. Two different race. But, one in heart. (I'm blushing! Shocks!)

Someday, the trance I always dream of having, would eventually come to life. Nothing would be impossible. We just have to work together and work things out for us. It's never going to be easy, but still, waiting for him would be all worthwhile someday.

Love is about taking risks anyway. One would never know if will going to work out or not if two people wouldn't even try to work things out for them.

It all just take efforts, patience and trust to each other.

It'll going to work out, one day.

#3

Thus, I said my au revoir restraining myself not to shed tears at all. I’m giving you occasion to rummage around to where beatitude nestled. I can’t bear up given that you were ill by my grounds. You are entitled to be in ecstasy then again I can’t even pencil in a smile on your face. I’ll give a free rein to you for your chase to whatnot makes you happy. 

Prologue

Girl

He is the one that I love.

But loving him is so difficult that I always end up crying.

He said he loves me but he broke my heart too many times in a row.

Boy

She is the one that I love.

Loving her was the only right thing I did.

But I always ended up hurting her and it freaking hurts me.

It’s like we against all odds.

Then a sudden jiffy occurs when everything seems altered.

It’s like a nightmare that I never imagine even in my dreams.

Girl

The pain makes me wanted to forget everything.

Who is he? I can’t remember.

But then, it is my heart that tells.

He is the one I love and he owns my heart.

It is then I realized, love is about taking risks.

What if it doesn't work out?

What if it does?

Eomma

I put my pen down and close the notebook in front of me which serves to be my diary where I always write everything I have in mind. Including things I can’t tell to anyone thus keeping it by myself.

I was about to lie down my bed when I heard some kind of sniffing sounds. I followed the sounds and tried to figure out where it came from. I got out of my room and open the door adjacent to mine. I open the door carefully and there.

I saw a thinning figure of a woman sitting at the end of her bed. Her head was bowed down on her knees as her hands were covering her face with his back facing me as she weep silently so no one could hear her agony.

#2

#1

I had emptied my mind from the thoughts of you yet again, when it buckets down, I know it will come flooding back once more. All the memories I had keep under wraps persist in rummage of you but downpour will indisputably come to a standstill and the thoughts of you will wane inch by inch.

Actor

The thought of you haunts me down

In every single day of the month

Every second of the day I count

As I wrote my never ending rants.

Thought we're fated to meet

Thought we're destined to be

I was wrong as I realized

We're just bound to fail indeed.

Well played, the game of yours

You lie, you cheat, you're a mess

Feelings I've never felt before

I'll never want to love you though.

You should be the best actor now

Should win the "Best Liar" crown

You came into my life then left

Leaving me hanging, left with nothing.